First Prenatal Appointment with New Midwife

So I had my first prenatal appointment and while I enjoyed the visit and still believe I have made a good choice it was not what I expected. For one, I find it much easier to open up on this blog than I do in person. I can't just speak out my fears and say I need support. That would be great and I am sure she would support me but I just can't make myself that vunerable. I am the type of personal that has to stay put together and strong at all times. Secondly, I think I need someone who is more available to be a friend and a support. Seeing someone once every 4 weeks is just not going to be enough to develop a deep relationship, especially in just 5 months.

Other than that, she is very different from my first midwife. She did not ask as many medical questions, didn't probe into every aspect of my life, and just seems to be interested in the basics. I am not saying this is good or bad but I guess I was expecting it to be more thoughout. It has got me thinking, though. When woman gave birth in the past, nature was just allowed to take its course. No asking questions to see if you fit into some prescribed box. No, just take care of yourself and the rest is pretty much out of your control. If things are normal you know it and you will say something if it is not. Relax. It is different and I am going to have to change my thinking but I think I just might like it.

Active Birth and Confessions

A new book I have just started reading is "Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally" by Janet Balaskas. I have only made it through the Preface and Introduction and all I have to say at this point is this:

I did not taken resposibility for my own pregnancy and birth with my son. I relied on "experts" to tell me what to do and where I "should be". I have been fooling myself into thinking that I was so enlighted and educated on the subject of birth but reality was that I watched "The Business of Being Born", read "Baby Catchers" and called myself well informed. What a joke!

Not this time. I have decided to get my hands on as many materials as I can over the next 5 months and practice what I read in preparation of this child's birth. I want to know the best ways to give birth, the practices and procedures of midwives, the risk and rates, and anything else I can.

I have also been reading Heart & Hands by Elizabeth Davis and have already learned so much about what a midwife should do and be looking for in the various stages of labor and has also given me a better idea of what to be looking for and preparing my mind and body for.

I am not trying to be too hard of myself but I do want to be honest and take at least some resposibility for not being actively involved in my birth. If I had only known then what I am starting to know now...

Decided on a Midwife

So I am happy to report that I decided on a midwife. To be honest, I don't know much about her or her history as a midwife. I was referred to her by another midwife who is not currently accepting HB clients but I really liked. My midwife's name is Heather Hilton and she is the owner of Central Texas Birth Center in Georgetown. She also assist at HB.

So far what I like about her (I have only had one visit) is her laid back younger personality. She takes a hands-off approach to birth and believes in letting your body work by itself. She shares my faith, which didn't enter my mind for my first birth but I wished that it had. She did reassure me about my first birth experience and I was trying to share all the facts and not embellish. She believes, had I been left alone to listen to my body's cues, I would have delivered at home successfully. Her office is nice and staff seems sweet. 

I have my first prenatal appointment with her tomorrow and have more questions to ask her but I am confident at this point we will get along fine. I am excited to finally have someone to talk to about this birth that will be supportive and accepting.

I will report back tomorrow about our appointment.

http://texasbirthcenter.com/

Key Factors in VBAC Success - From VBACFacts.com

I found this information very helpful and encouraging.
Below is an excerpt from http://vbacfacts.com/vbac/
___________________________________________________________________________

In all the reading and research I have done, there are a few behaviors that continually reappear among women who achieve VBACs. This is not scientific, just anecdotal.
Philosophy:
A woman who accepts her personal responsibility in her own health care by educating herself while believing in her body’s ability to give birth.

Behaviors:

1. Supportive husband
2. Educated herself
3. Supportive care provider
4. No drugs whatsoever
5. Refused induction
6. Refused rupture of membranes
7. Stayed ACTIVE and changed positions the entire labor
8. Ate and drank as she wanted to
9. Remained completely relaxed and therefore had plenty of energy
10. TRUSTED HER BODY!

Estimated Delivery Date - Nichols Rule

I recently started to read "Heart and Hands: A Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth" by Elizabeth Davis. It is more of a book for midwives but the information in it is great for understanding the basics of birth and possible complications.

The point I want to make today is revolutionary to me. Estimated Delivery Date Calculations.

So most go by the Naegele's Rule, or the standard 40 weeks rule. This is LMP - 3 months + 7 days. This does not take into consideration cycle length, or how many births you've had. My first son's due date according to this was September 18, 2010.

12/11 - 3 months = 9/11 + 7 Days = 9/18

The Nichols' Rule is so much more spot on in my opinion.

Here is how to calculate your EDD:

First-time moms with 28 day cycles: LMP + 12 months - 2 months and 14 days = EDD
Second-time moms or more w/ 28 day cycles: LMP + 12 months - 2 months and 18 days = EDD
Cycles longer than 28 days: EDD + (days in cycle -28 days) = EDD
Cycles shorter than 28 days: EDD - (28 days - days in cycle) = EDD

For example: For my first pregnancy my LMP was 12/11/09 and my cycle length was about 30 days. It was my first child.

12/11/09 + 12 months = 12/11/10 - 2 months and 14 days = 9/27/10 + (30-28) = 9/29/10

Actual Date of Birth (Spontaneous) = 09/29/2010 WOW!

And here I thought I had gone 11 days overdue.

So I am using this method this time. According to Nichols' Rule, and taking into consideration that my cycle length is 35 days and this is my second pregnancy, baby # 2 will be due June 15, 2012.

08/26/11 + 12 months = 08/26/12 - 2 months and 18 days = 06/08/12 + (35-28) = 06/15/12

That is almost 2 weeks over the other method (June 2, 2012).

Maybe bad due date calculations are the reason for such a high induction rate and subsequently high c-section rate.

Can I say again WOW!

Photo credit: “Photo by Hilde Vanstraelen / www.biewoef.be”.

Links I'd Like to Share... Check back as more will be added

VBAC & Scar Integrity
http://www.natural-forces.com/essays/vbac.htm

Natural Birth Advocate/VBAC Mama
http://www.vbacmama.blogspot.com/

International Cesarean Awareness Network
http://ican-online.org/

VBAC Facts
http://vbacfacts.com/

Uterine Rupture
http://www.ayubmed.edu.pk/JAMC/PAST/15-4/Sameera.htm

Mixed Emotions

Now that I have started down this road I have already discovered it to be full of mixed emotions. First, I feel excited to be back thinking about another home birth. I feel the same excitement I felt when planning my first. But then, after the feelings of excitement wear off I feel worried, uneasy, distressed, and overwhelmed about the possible risks. I read on another woman's blog that she was not angry about her first c-section until she was pregnant with the subsequent baby. I feel the same way. I thought I had gotten over the feelings of anger from my first birth experience but now that I am pregnant again I realize how much is has affected my ability to make future decisions. I do feel cheated. Another thing I related to on this woman's blog was her feelings of being alone. I feel like, although my husband and sister are supportive, nobody understands my desire to have an empowering natural birth experience. My sister had 4 hospital births, 3 with pain meds, 1 without (but not by choice). And while I respect her decision to birth the way she wanted, she doesn't necessarily understand where I am coming from (although she is very supportive of my decision to have a HBAC, thanks sis). My husband, of course, is just concerned about my safety and the safety of our unborn child. He wants to be sure I am making a safe decision and not a selfish one. At first this seems hard to take from him, but at second glance it is nice to know I have someone willing to ask the tough questions and make sure my motives are pure (thanks babe). Other than those two people I don't really have anyone to lean on for support. I have chosen not to tell my parents of my decision, as I know they will not be supportive. Either way, without a current midwife or a friend that has had the same experience as me, I am forced to deal with my feelings alone, at least right now. Part of me wishes the birth was soon, but another part of me is glad I have time to process all this first.

12 Weeks 5 Days

The Journey Begins

My name is Natalie and I am a wife to one wonderful husband, mother to one beautiful son (14 months), and child to one glorious God. I'm pregnant with our second child due in June 2012 and happily stay at home taking care of our son and volunteering in our community.

I am also a scar holder to one traumatic birth ending in a Cesarean Section. I will tell more about that story later but now more on what I am doing here.

I decided to start this blog to share my journey down the path of the VBAC dilemma.

The dilemma? Hospital or Home

I am currently seeing an OB in our area that states that he is "pro VBAC" but my first two appointments with him have been less than reassuring. During our first visit he convinced me and my husband that he saw no reason why a VBAC wasn't the best option for me and with limited restrictions would be the way we would precede. My second visit he sang a different tune. He called me "high risk" at least 10 times then back tracked from the previous conversation and took a more "VBAC is great... but unlikely" stance. I left the appointment feeling defeated. I had already lost the battle, at least with him, so that is when I decided to think about taking a different approach.

I don't think you can really know what was going through my mind without the story of my first birth. Believe it or not, it started as a homebirth. I labored at home for 12 hours and pushed for about 2 hours. My midwife, despite what I had though about them, made decisions for me that I can only attribute to her desire to speed things along. I planned a homebirth to avoid the unnecessary interventions so common in hospital births but found my midwife was not as patient as I had expected. Of course, I could have said no to the things that she did but I had the naive view that I could implicitly trust all midwives. She broken my water as soon as she arrived and got settled and had me start pushing before I was fully dilated. It all ended with a swollen cervix (due to pushing on an un-dilated cervix) and a transfer to the hospital. The midwife and her assistance were so concerned about leaving their cars out in the suburbs that they had me and my husband drive to the hospital alone. After arriving at the hospital, getting registered, and receiving an epidural the doctor came in. Within 15 minutes I was rushed off to the OR to have a c-section. They claim it was due to decelerating heart rate but later the OB admitted that my son was fine but could have gone down in a matter of minutes or could have lasted for hours more. They did not want to take the risk. So I ended up with a c-section and my midwife was never seen or heard from again.

To tell you the truth, I am not anti-homebirth or midwife after my situation, but I am a little fearful that if I attempt another homebirth I will end up transferring and it will all be for nothing.

So here I am now. Having to face my fears or take the risk with an OB. My goal is to face my fear, but I want to do my due diligence, research the facts, and find the best person to support me. This is the challenge. For now, I will continue to see my OB and continue down the path that will hopefully lead me to a HBAC.